Surreal Reality
Have you ever experienced that moment between waking and dreaming where you can't tell what is real and what is fantasy? Can you imagine what it would be like if the moment stretched on, for minutes, maybe even hours, but you can't be sure how long because even looking at the clock and seeing the time might not be real?
I lived that for a while.
For well over a week I would wake up in that state that is neither fully awake or fully dreaming. Or maybe I didn't wake at all. Or maybe I did wake up completely and that's just how reality was, two different realities sharing the same space and I was seeing and feeling both of them at once.
Maybe I was losing my mind.
Or maybe I was being offered something wonderful and turned away from it in fear. Maybe I was seeing those two realities so I could chose which I would live in. If that was the case I was a fool and let fear drive me back to this reality. I will forever wonder what would have happened if I had taken the step into the the fantasy. Would I have gone insane? Though maybe the better term would have been delusional since that fantasy, that alternate reality, wasn't that different from this one. In that reality I had my self assurance back, I was strong and confident, I had both my hands wrapped tight around my destiny and I knew how to get it to go where I wanted it. I had power there. If I had taken that step would I have been trapped in the split realities, never quite sure which was real and which was my mind playing tricks? Or would I have been that confident version of myself?
But I stepped back from the edge, and I will never know.
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